| |
| |
|
Attraction Information |
|
|
|
So, The Thing Is... We Reap What We Sow
So, the thing is? we reap what we sow. A few weeks ago, my daughters and I planted some seeds. It was a fun project to do together because it involved digging in the dirt and talking about how plants grow, plus the sun was warm on our faces. It was a perfect day. I wouldn't have been very surprised if the seeds hadn't sprouted at all, since projects like this one make Jane very enthusiastic, and you'd think seeds are more fragile than her handling would indicate. Not to mention that I'd had those packets of seeds in my desk drawer for almost two years-- that's probably not good for seeds either. But when we were finished, we had forty-eight little containers of potting soil and hope, and a very nice memory of a warm day. Of course, I spent the next three weeks muttering under my breath as I carried all those darn containers in and out of the house since we aren't past the freezing weather. But then, about a week ago, we noticed that our little seeds had sprouted the tiniest and most fragile plants. It seemed miraculous to the kids, and frankly, to me, too. It's oddly comforting to think that if we plant seeds in good soil and we protect them from the cold and we make sure they have lots of sunlight, most of them will sprout. In the midst of all the uncertainty in the world, it's a nice reminder of growth and renewal. So then, still taking advantage of some lovely weather, the girls and I went to feed the ducks at the large public park near our house. Afterward, we decided to walk across these big soccer fields to see an arrangement of large stones that sometimes serves as an amphitheater. Well, Ana took off running. I let her go for a bit because I know how good it feels to run full-out across a big space. Jane couldn't keep up, though, and in no time Ana was too far ahead of us and would not listen to my calls. Soon she was climbing up those big rocks. There was a man with a big dog running loose and the dog pinned Ana in a crevice - he didn't bite her but it could have been terrible and I wouldn't have gotten to her in time. I've never felt so helpless. The man passed me and asked with this 'what kind of a mother ARE you' tone, "Is that your little girl up on those rocks?" (I was too frantic to bring up the leash law right then.) Anyway, I couldn't get Ana to come down from the rocks and then Jane started to climb and when I picked her up to bring her down, she kicked me so hard that I shook her --not repeatedly, but one shake. And then I started to cry because I couldn't believe that I was so far gone that I touched my child in anger. I am still deeply ashamed of myself. Because, of course, I wasn't really even angry with JANE. It was a horrible end to what could have been a wonderful day. I kept thinking of all the terrible things that might have happened to Ana. She could have fallen off those rocks. That man could have been some child molester. That dog could have attacked her. When I calmed down and got the kids back into the car and everyone stopped crying, I started to wonder if my reaction was too extreme. Am I am too paranoid about my children's safety? IS the world a more dangerous place than when I was growing up? Because I can remember taking off on my bike (blue with banana seat and a big flag) and just staying gone all day. I wasn't that much older than Ana is now. I came home for meals and band-aids, but I played all over our neighborhood, as did all the other kids, and no one ever gave it a second thought. I would have run over to those rocks to explore them, too. The media seems inordinately focused on the bad things that happen to kids and the weirdoes out there who victimize them. I think we parents respond by trying to avoid every risk-- every situation-- that might be the least dangerous. I rarely let my children out of my sight unless they are safely within the confines of our house or at school. I feel like I say, "Be careful!" about six hundred times a day. I've heard myself preemptively tell my children, "Don't run with scissors" when they had no intention of doing so anyway. I have to wonder what this is doing to my kids. We talk to them so young now about "stranger danger" and "Good Touch, Bad Touch." Then we explain things like war and terrorism and racism. We pad them in car seats and bike helmets against accidents and they hold our hands across streets and in parking lots. We've taught them that they are safe holding our hands but what about when we're not there? Will our children grow up afraid of their shadows? I believe that children build confidence by meeting challenges and overcoming them, and sometimes that means that they fall off of the monkey bars. But what is the net effect if we never let them climb because of the fear of falling? Are we creating a world full of fear for them? I came across an article by Ernest E. Allen, president and CEO of the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children called "Keeping Children Safe: Rhetoric vs. Reality." (http://ojjdp.ncjrs.org/jjjournal/jjjournal598/safe.html) It is a horrifyingly factual article about child abductions and molestations. Just as I was making up my mind to build some large terrarium to keep my children in for the rest of their lives, I read this: "America's families need not live in fear, but parents need to be fully informed about the dangers their children face and the most effective ways to educate them and guard them from harm. The key to child safety is communication." The thing is? I don't want my children to feel like victims but even more than that, I don't want them to ever BE victims. It's just so hard to prepare them for how to deal with bad people without creating a fear of EVERYONE. I don't know how much caution is enough and how much is too much but I am talking to my kids about potential dangers AND potential good. I'm working on not creating an atmosphere of fear. Because, you know, the world is actually more good than bad. People are mostly good. Sometimes, maybe we have to trust that even though we can't protect them every single second, our kids are going to be okay. Maybe our children are hardier than we think, just like those little seeds. If we give them a positive and warm environment and we watch for the big dangers (like freezing weather and pedophiles), we just have to go on faith that they'll flourish. Even if it means letting them take some risks. Because if we keep them in the desk drawer, they'll never get a chance to blossom. To subscribe or unsubscribe to this free e-mail newsletter, send e-mail to barb@sothethingis.com. (Your address will not be used for any other purpose.) If you would like to forward this column on, please do so in its entirety. Feedback welcome. Back issues can be found at http://www.sothethingis.com. (c) Barbara Cooper 2003 About The Author Barbara Cooper is the mother of Ana (almost five) and Hurricane Jane (28 months) and this weekly column, called "So, the thing is...". She lives in Austin, Texas and she's going to have a LOT of basil this year.
MORE RESOURCES:
Attraction - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Law of Attraction - What You Project You Receive Do you know anyone who always seems to have bad luck? Nothing ever goes right for them. Conversely, have you observed people who always wind up OK despite what befalls them?What differentiates these two types of people? Their attitude, thoughts and actions are as different as day and night. 8 Powerful Tips to a Magnificent Life Tip #1. Find your purpose. Change Thorns into Flowers If you had to write an annual appraisal on yourself how would you describe yourself?? Are you a mental sprinter who sees things quickly and easily? Do you react to things in a flash? Are you capable of making quick decisions?? Do you find yourself watching others and saying to yourself, I could do that so much quicker?? Do you find yourself taking on more work because you felt it was easier and quicker for you to do it? Do you feel that you waste so much time waiting for others to complete work?? Do you feel irritable inside? Do you get frustrated because others don't seem to understand what you are saying and where you are going?? Do you find you always want to hurry things up? Do you feel more comfortable when things are concluded rather than left waiting?? Do you find yourself running out of patience with partner, children, colleagues because they seem to take more time or appear to lack concentration and go off on 'stupid' tangents which have little or no relevance to the project?? Are you the alert, quick acting person who is known as the achiever?? Are you that person who is good at developing ideas and keeping them on track?If you own up to a couple or more of these traits and feel really irritable and impatient with yourself and those around you. If you feel that you are always clock watching. Jekyll vs. Hyde, 2 Faces of Immortality! Meet the most important person you will ever meet in your life. You better! For sometime during your life you will meet him. The Power of Focusing on What Vs. How We see it and do it enough times to know just how it works. Resolutions are set, goals written down, strategic action plans put in place. What You Sow You Reap! Go into the fields and country lanes in the spring-time, and you will see farmers and gardeners busy sowing seeds in the newly prepared soil. If you were to ask any one of those gardeners or farmers what kind of produce he expected from the seed he was sowing, he would doubtless regard you as foolish, and would tell you that he does not "expect" at all, that it is a matter of common knowledge that his produce will be of the kind which he is sowing, and that he is sowing wheat, or barley, or turnips, as the case may be, in order to reproduce that particular kind. Establishing Your Charisma Presence An integral piece of charisma is establishing a presence, so let's examine 3 ways to establish your charisma presence, that will clearly tell all around you "I'm a player and a force to be reckoned with!".Your Mother Was Right: "Stand up Straight!"; "Head up!"; "Shoulders back!"; "Chest out!"; "Don't slouch!"; are some other things you heard as a child. 6 Great Ways To Improve Your Social Skills If you are looking for a way to improve your social skills, there are many resources available that will assist you in refining your social skills and improving the way you communicate with others.It's not only possible to learn how to improve your social skills; it's easier than you think. Create a Climate for Success by Mastering Your Total Image - Part 2 In part 1 of this series, we discussed your Total Image and the first of several essential components - Your Hidden Image. This month, we'll continue discussion your Total Image with the second component: Your Reputation. Putting Yourself on the Road to Success What separates successful people from unsuccessful people, achievers from non-achievers, winners from losers? Are people born that way or do they develop habits as they grow older which determine their stations in life?It would be fair to say that the answers to these questions are very complex ones. It is a combination of factors which include such things as your country of birth, when you were born, your IQ, your physique, your capacity to remember, your environment, your parents, your friends, your associates, the formal education you receive and the books you read. Character or Reputation Character or Reputation. When we see these two words together, we often mistakenly believe that you cannot have one without the other. Self-Divine-ation: Defining a Divine Future! In some of my counseling and coaching sessions, my clients ask me to perform a reading to tell them their future. In many cases, my response is, "why don't you tell me your future?" They stop and stare, speechless. Achieving Your Vision of Abundance How can we have more abundance in our lives? It begins by noticing the abundance that we already have.We cannot experience abundance yesterday or tomorrow. Coping As A Caregiver Few people are prepared for the responsibilities and tasks involved in caring for loved ones who are ill, elderly, or disabled. The success of the relationship between you and your loved one depends on several factors. The Number One Secret to Success in Business Clarity!If there is such a thing as a "secret" to success in business (or life) then Clarity is it. Clarity IS the first step towards designing your ideal business. The Path of Appreciation Without appreciation, any success you have will be in vain and worthless. Yes, you would have accomplished your goals but it would be an empty win. Make the Eat and Earn Connection If you've ever thought about wanting to increase your physical energy and wouldn't mind increasing your financial as well, you have to read this right now!Focus #1 - Name Your Hunger/Want/Desire/Achievement? You know what you want to change better than anyone else. It is that nagging voice in the back of your head that speaks to you every time you go against it (i. What Do You Do? When I go out and talk to business people, I hear them talking about all the things they do from day to day. They talk about the problems they have and their frustrations with a whole variety of things they do. The Magic of Mike The woman stood over the stove stirring a pot of hot soup. She prepared it to ward off the bitter Minnesota cold, a cover-every-inch-of-your-skin cold, the kind that bites you and never lets go, the kind that makes auto engines demand heaters or they refuse to start. 10 Common Money And Success Myths - Part 3 Here we continue to discuss a few commonly held beliefs, or "myths," that hold many of us back from achieving success..
|
| home | site map |
| © 2008 |
