| |
| |
|
Coaching Information |
|
|
|
Is Your Life Coach Manipulating You? Five Signs to Watch For
Did you hire a "life coach" to help you sort out your complicated existence? The coach is a growing occupational choice for folks who feel the call to lead others who may feel overwhelmed or wish for personal fulfillment but don't know where to begin. As someone who belongs to entrepreneur networks, I've come across quite a few life coaches. Some seem like truly wonderful people... but others... hmmm, well I'm not so sure. Before I raise the five warning flags, let's talk about two short but very important words: Your Life. It's YOURS and nobody else's. So although you may feel confused for the time being and have summoned the services of a coach, it's still YOUR LIFE and you have the right to live it any way you see fit. A good and benevolent life coach will respect the fact that your life belongs to you. She will guide and support, she will uncover options you may not have seen before, and she will unleash your potential and help you feel confident... but she will NOT dictate how to live YOUR LIFE, nor will she mold you into thinking a certain way. That said, it's incredibly important to choose your life coach carefully. If you find one who is loving and inspirational, kind and supportive, who lets you find your own way and doesn't speak to you as though you're beneath her... hang onto her for as long as you have to because you struck gold. On the other hand, if your life coach makes you feel uncomfortable in any way, do not hesitate to discontinue your work together. Remember that this is YOUR LIFE. Here are 5 examples of things your coach might say to manipulate you. SCENARIO ONE Coach: This seminar I attended was a life-changing experience! Why don't you sign up? It's only $300. You: Thanks for the offer, but I'm trying to save my money right now. Coach: It's funny how we always find money for the things we want to do. The truth is, it's probably not the money that's holding you back from doing this, it's your negative mindset. [It's not your coach's business what you do with your money, even if she is your "coach." If she continues to push you into making purchases you're not comfortable with, politely tell her that you're no longer interested in using her services.] SCENARIO TWO Coach: We must erase all negative statements and focus on the positive. Now, let me point out where you made a mistake... [If your coach were truly a positive individual, she would NEVER utter the words 'you made a mistake.' This is a mind control tactic, and an attempt to make you feel 'in the wrong' when actually you have done nothing wrong. If your coach EVER says things like this to you, thank her for her kind advice and then cancel her services.] SCENARIO THREE Your coach leads the discussion to a topic of her choice, waits for you to politely acknowledge the topic, confuses you with a few ambiguous fluff statements, and then turns the tables and insinuates that you sought her advice on said topic when actually you never did. [GET RID OF THIS COACH. You sought a life coach because you wanted to learn to confidently navigate your own life. Instead, you got a coach who tries to trip you up with Jedi Mind Tricks! Perhaps there is something in her own life that she's having trouble controlling?] SCENARIO FOUR You: Crap, I can't find that book you sent me. I'm so disorganized! Coach: If we are mentally resistant to a new idea, often our subconscious manifests itself in a self-fulfilling prophecy. Perhaps you lost the book because you didn't really want to read it. Consider opening your mind to new ideas... [Some coaches have a habit of relating everything back to psychology, which is not always the case. Maybe you really did want to read the book but had a chaotic week. Instead of insinuating that you have mental blocks, which by the way is a NEGATIVE assertion and not very coach-like at all, your coach should initiate some positive improvement and suggest that you work on organizational skills together.] SCENARIO FIVE You: God, I need a pep talk! Coach: Ahh yes... recognize that you, too, deserve love and attention... [While this isn't the worst thing that's ever been said, it's a bit dramatic and makes you out to be some kind of pathetic sot with a poor self-image. When you ask for a pep talk, you should get just that - a few positive affirmations and some encouragement to go forward.] General Condescention: Don't buy into the holier-than-thou bit. Some red flag remarks: "Let me explain something to you..." [A truly gifted coach instinctively knows how to make her clients feel appreciated, commiserated with, and most of all, on the same level. Your coach should talk to you ADULT-TO-ADULT as though you are two comrades, not like she's the kindergarten teacher and you're five years old.] There are millions of people marauding as psychologists and related occupations, who actually have personal issues themselves which is why they feel the need to control other people. If you're getting a sense of this about your own coach or counselor, it's probably legitimate. People who do not feel good about themselves should not assume a "helper" role in other people's lives. Step up and do what your coach has been preaching all this time. Take control of your own life, and lose the power tripping coach. Instead, find a coach who's truly interested in helping you become stronger, more efficient and more successful as well as reaffirms the wonderful and talented person you are! Copyright 2005 Dina Giolitto. All rights reserved. Find out how thought-provoking articles can position you as an expert in your field. Dina Giolitto is a Copywriting Consultant with ten years of experience writing for print media and the web. Visit http://Wordfeeder.com for a free consultation and copywriting quote.
MORE RESOURCES:
Coaching - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Discover The Coach Within You One of the three basic roles of leadership is the coach or mentor. The best boss is often the best coach. Be A Champion Communicator by Becoming a Chameleon Recently, I worked with a client who was having a problem with some of the women in her organization. The organization had just undergone major changes, which resulted in different reporting relationships for many of the women. How Not Letting Go of Your Past can Hurt Your Future Experiences, whether good or bad, are sometimes all we have, and most of them reside in the past. So you may ask, why should I let go of my past when much of it is filled with beautiful memories and serenity?Well, that is certainly not what I mean. 5 Minute Morning Balance Ritual "3 Questions, 5 Minutes a Day: Make leaps towards greater balance in one single week with the Shicka Boom 5 Minute Morning Balance Ritual" By Laura Lallone, Certified Life CoachThis article is dedicated to a woman that I've never met and probably never will. Tall with dark, dark hair, she was perfectly manicured in a tailored suit with high-heeled pumps. The Benefits of Coaching When I was first introduced to the profession of personal coaching, my first initial thought was that it sounded exactly like something I would love to pursue. I did further investigation into the profession and before I knew it I was happily enrolled in the Coach Training Program offered through Coach U University in Colorado, USA. What The Buddha Says About Coaches There is a Buddhist saying that goes like this: "If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill it." This means to kill any concept of the Buddha as something apart from oneself. Eureka! I've Found It! OK, so it wasn't quite that big of a deal. But I did find the "T" that mysteriously escaped from the word "not" in one of my articles a few months ago. Overcoming Work Addiction Why are you so busy? Do you really have too much work? Is work so important to you that you'll sacrifice just about anything in your life to get the job done? Even if it's at the expense of your health and your relationships?If you find these questions disturbing then see how you rate with these ones:Do you work more than 50 hours a week?Do you dream about work?Do you feel that in order to succeed you must work late most of the time?Are you a stranger in your own home?Do you constantly miss family and social events because you're always working?Do you schedule and undertake more than you can get done in a 40-hour work week?Do you get bored when you're not working?Is missing family and social events because of work unavoidable?When on holiday do you constantly check your phone messages and email?Your ScoreThe greater the number of yes answers, the closer you are to fitting the profile of a workaholic. If you've answered yes to more than half of the questions, it's time to take stock before you lose your health, family and everything you hold near and dear to your heart. Transform Your Image And Accelerate Your Success Being a lifelong student, I am regularly attending seminars etc. to become the best I can be in all areas of my life. Who Are You Mixing It With? I talk and write a lot about Life Design - creating and sculpting a life that is fulfilling for you. It is about shaping your personal landscape and environment. A Murder Mystery Puzzle for You to Solve Anybody who has visited my website at Motivation & Self Esteem for Success or has read any of the many articles I have written will realise what a proponent I am of reading books and educating yourself. If you want to become successful at anything you simply must do this, in my opinion. Transitions: Moving Through Change With Grace MOVING THROUGH CHANGECreating any major change in our lives can also create feelings of discomfort. Tiredness, confusion, and uncertainty are among the many emotions that can be experienced. Are You At The Point Of No Return? There is a point at which everything becomes simple and there is no longer any question of choice, because all you have staked will be lost if you look back. Life's point of no return. 4 Amazing Tips To Successfully Persuade Anyone Having excellent persuasion skills is one of the most important abilities to possess in today's fast-paced world. We need the support and cooperation of other people to help us in reaching our goals. Coaching Skills and Positive Motivation There is one important point that is often missed in the discussion of Coaching Skills: Effective coaching is a great deal more than just problem solving. Many people misinterpret coaching as only a corrective process aimed at specific error and deficiencies of an individual. Bringing Forgiveness Down To Earth What does it mean to forgive?One of the first things we typically think when we hear the word "forgive" is that it is a spiritual concept that is mostly out of reach for us mortal human beings. The bible talks about it, pastors implore us to forgive, we might believe that it is something that we "should" do but for the most part, most of us find it very difficult, if not impossible, to accomplish. How to Crack a Daunting Task! If you have a daunting task and the mere thought of it overwhelms you, it's probably too big to implement directly and should be broken down into actionable parts. I find this happens to me frequently -- I see the big strategic goal that I want to achieve, but become paralyzed thinking about the size of the project. Body Language Speaks Louder Than Words Has it ever occurred to you how much you are saying to people even when you are not speaking? Unless you are a master of disguise, you are constantly sending messages about your true thoughts and feelings whether you are using words or not.Studies show that your words account for only 7% of the message you convey. Priorities: Are You Living Yours? In the Charles Dickens classic, "The Christmas Story", Scrooge is given the opportunity to examine his life and his priorities before it is too late. Upon being shown his grave by the ghost of Christmas Future, he asks "Spirit, are these instances of things that will be or are they of things that might be? Is it too late for me?" How long has it been since you have examined your life and its direction? When the day comes that you leave this earth, how will you be remembered?Have you ever noticed that once people have something life-changing take place in their lives, an illness, death or tragedy, how quickly their priorities change? It is amazing how instantaneously things that were so important yesterday, fail to cross their radar screens today. Top Ten Things You Would Never Hear a Coach Say (or then again?!) When coaching, it's all about the client, be that as a professional coach, or a line manager/business owner using coaching skills in their own business, with their own people. But it's so easy sometimes to turn the tables and be the client.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2008 |
