College & University Information

College Roommate Personality Clashes: How to Survive


Are you living with your total opposite? It's amazing how different two people sharing the same (tiny) room can be. Even the littlest things can drive you crazy after awhile! You eat Big Macs and chicken wings while your roommate swears by tofu and beans; you like Coldplay and your roommate cranks up Tim McGraw. You're East Coast; your roommate is West Coast. Whatever your differences (and there are bound to be a few), you need to figure out what you're willing to live with and what's fair to ask your roommate to change.

Your roommate may have an accent that grates on your nerves, but that's not something you can ask a person to change. It's also not fair to expect someone to change his entire personality to suit you. It would be great if we could snap our fingers, and BAM, instant personality makeover! Not gonna happen. So, you need to separate personality traits from irritating habits. You won't transform your roommate into your new best friend, but you can make things a lot more bearable. Here are a few ideas:

Talk. If something's bugging you, bring it up in a non-defensive way rather than assume your roommate can read your mind. Nothing can change unless you acknowledge it. It's possible that your roommate may not even be aware of the problem.

Focus on behavior, not personality. It's not reasonable to ask people to change who they are, but you can ask them to tone down how they express themselves, especially when it's invading your turf. So, you can't criticize someone for being "perky," but you can ask for someone not to talk so much while you're studying.

Stay flexible. It's not your job to fix anybody else, and it helps to recognize that no one is perfect. Be willing to look at your own behavior. Consider what you could do differently to help the situation instead of only blaming your roommate.

Start with one pet peeve. What can you absolutely not deal with? What do you find extremely irritating, but could live with if you had to? There are probably tons of things your roommate does that get on your nerves. But nothing kills a relationship faster than listing dozens of reasons why you don't like a person. Instead, both of you need to list your number one pet peeve and focus your energy on solving that first.

Consider the positives. Before you decide that life would be better with a roommate exactly like you, think of what you could gain by living with your opposite. We're often attracted to people who are different from us because they represent qualities we wish we possessed. If you're shy, maybe being around a more outgoing person will force you out of your shell. When one person's strength makes up for the other's weakness, being opposites is an advantage.

Susan Fee is a licensed counselor and author of the college survival guide, My Roommate Is Driving Me Crazy! Solve Conflicts, Set Boundaries, and Survive the College Roommate from Hell (Adams Media). More college survival tips are listed on her site, http://www.myroommateisdrivingmecrazy.com


MORE RESOURCES:

Free Webinar Dec. 3rd for College/University Administrators Will ...
MarketWatch - Nov 20, 2008
NEEDHAM, Mass., Nov 20, 2008 /PRNewswire via COMTEX/ -- NEEDHAM, Mass., Nov. 20 /PRNewswire/ -- A free webinar, aimed at assisting college and university ...


Man's suicide involves drugs — and a webcam
Seattle Times, United States - 14 hours ago
The Broward College student took a lethal mixture of three drugs Wednesday and then blogged about it while a webcam broadcast his actions, including his ...


College, University Endowments Take Hits
KHBS/KHOG 40/29, AR - Nov 20, 2008
FAYETTEVILLE, Ark. -- Many colleges and universities have a lot riding on the stock market. They rely on interest gained from endowments to fund things such ...


Students protest cancellation of admission in BBA course
Times of India, India - 2 hours ago
PATNA: Protesting against the reported cancellation of admission of as many as 145 candidates against additional sections in BBA course of Patna College, ...


College, university to receive county cash in 2009
Barrie Advance, Canada - Nov 20, 2008
Simcoe County will support Georgian College and Lakehead University in their quests to expand – but not beyond 2009. In formulating its 2009 operating ...


W. Liberty OK’d As University
Wheeling Intelligencer, WV - 17 hours ago
By BETHANY ROMANEK WEST LIBERTY - It began as West Liberty Academy in 1837, and on Friday West Liberty State College officials received word that the ...


Stetson Selects First Female President
Tampa Tribune, FL - 18 hours ago
By LINDSAY PETERSON GULFPORT - Stetson University has picked the first female president in its 125-year history, Wendy Libby, from Stephens College, ...


AU women get first win of season
Aurora Beacon News, IL - 13 hours ago
Kim Voiles had a game-high 22 points, grabbed five rebounds and added four assists and four steals as Aurora University picked up its first win of the year, ...


Malaysia Star

Cause to celebrate
Malaysia Star, Malaysia - 16 minutes ago
SUNWAY University College (Sunway) made a milestone achievement recently when it bagged two gold awards and the High Commissioner’s Award, all on the same ...


UA leaders greenlight mergers for small units
Arizona Daily Star, AZ - 17 hours ago
By Aaron Mackey The UA's top two leaders have given their blessing to about a dozen small academic-program mergers designed to make the institution more ...

College-University - Google News

home | site map
© 2006