College & University Information

Do Best Friends Make the Best College Roommates?


Do best friends make the best college roommates? Not always! It's amazing how the quirky things you used to like about your best friend can begin to drive you crazy when you're around it 24/7. Just because you've been friends since grade school doesn't mean you should live together.

In fact, rooming together can ruin a friendship if the two of you don't discuss a few things ahead of time. Living together is way different than hanging out a lot. It's a mistake to assume that everything will be fine just because you have a history. Here are some things you and your best friend should talk about before you commit to being roomies.

Expect things to change. College is about growing and making new friends. Only hanging out with your best friend can hold both of you back. All it takes is one, "You didn't used to be that way," to feel trapped. Are you okay with your best friend spending less time with you and more time with new friends? Talk about how you'd deal with this and if you expect to be included or not.

Set ground rules. A roommate relationship takes friendship to a whole other level because now it involves sharing space, time, and decision-making. If you don't establish boundaries with your friend like you would with someone you don't know as well, it's too easy to cross the line. You can end up feeling taken advantage of because you assumed your friend would make the same decisions as you, even though it was never discussed. How will you handle cleaning, bills, and study time? Is it alright to borrow clothes and other personal items? When is it okay to have guests over? Decide these things ahead of time so they won't become issues later.

Make room for dating. You may have promised to hang out together, but a cute date can change all that! It's hard not to feel jealous when you're the one left out in the cold. Does your friend expect you to leave the room whenever he or she wants alone time with a new date? Both of you deserve to have a say in who gets private time in the room and what you think is fair.

Prepare for stress. College can be stressful at times between the demands of studying, social pressures, working, and maybe even a little homesickness. It can cause even the best of friends to take it out on each other. Support one another by suggesting healthy ways to let off a little steam like exercising, going to a movie, talking, or even giving the other person a little space.

Fight Fair. When issues come up, deal with them right away. Don't expect your friend to know what's bugging you just because you've known each other a long time. No one is a mind reader. Giving the silent treatment or having IM arguments can make a semester seem like a lifetime! Plus, it's hard to avoid someone who is living four feet away.

Rooming with your best friend can be a positive experience, as long as both of you agree upfront how you'll handle these situations. It can be reassuring to room with someone who understands and accepts you, rather than starting from scratch with a person you've never met. On the other hand, rooming with a different person gives you a chance to experience something totally new and possibly make another great friend. And, if your new roomie ever gets on your nerves, you can always go visit your best friend!

Susan Fee is a licensed counselor and author of the college survival guide, My Roommate Is Driving Me Crazy! Solve Conflicts, Set Boundaries, and Survive the College Roommate from Hell (Adams Media). She offers more college survival tips on her site, http://www.myroommateisdrivingmecrazy.com.


MORE RESOURCES:

Free Webinar Dec. 3rd for College/University Administrators Will ...
MarketWatch - Nov 20, 2008
NEEDHAM, Mass., Nov 20, 2008 /PRNewswire via COMTEX/ -- NEEDHAM, Mass., Nov. 20 /PRNewswire/ -- A free webinar, aimed at assisting college and university ...


Man's suicide involves drugs — and a webcam
Seattle Times, United States - 13 hours ago
The Broward College student took a lethal mixture of three drugs Wednesday and then blogged about it while a webcam broadcast his actions, including his ...


College, University Endowments Take Hits
KHBS/KHOG 40/29, AR - Nov 20, 2008
FAYETTEVILLE, Ark. -- Many colleges and universities have a lot riding on the stock market. They rely on interest gained from endowments to fund things such ...


Students protest cancellation of admission in BBA course
Times of India, India - 1 hour ago
PATNA: Protesting against the reported cancellation of admission of as many as 145 candidates against additional sections in BBA course of Patna College, ...


W. Liberty OK’d As University
Wheeling Intelligencer, WV - 16 hours ago
By BETHANY ROMANEK WEST LIBERTY - It began as West Liberty Academy in 1837, and on Friday West Liberty State College officials received word that the ...


Stetson Selects First Female President
Tampa Tribune, FL - 16 hours ago
By LINDSAY PETERSON GULFPORT - Stetson University has picked the first female president in its 125-year history, Wendy Libby, from Stephens College, ...


College, university to receive county cash in 2009
Barrie Advance, Canada - Nov 20, 2008
Simcoe County will support Georgian College and Lakehead University in their quests to expand – but not beyond 2009. In formulating its 2009 operating ...


AU women get first win of season
Aurora Beacon News, IL - 11 hours ago
Kim Voiles had a game-high 22 points, grabbed five rebounds and added four assists and four steals as Aurora University picked up its first win of the year, ...


UA leaders greenlight mergers for small units
Arizona Daily Star, AZ - 16 hours ago
By Aaron Mackey The UA's top two leaders have given their blessing to about a dozen small academic-program mergers designed to make the institution more ...


Men's squash kicks off season with 9-0 win at Northeastern
Bates College Sports News - 3 hours ago
BOSTON -- The Bates College men's squash team grabbed a decisive 9-0 win over Northeastern University Friday night in the head coaching debut of Pat Cosquer ...

College-University - Google News

home | site map
© 2006