College & University Information

College Roommates: Threes A Crowd


It's hard enough sharing a dorm room the size of a postage stamp with one person, but what happens when your roommate consistently invites friends and dates to hang out too? Even if you all get along, it can get old fast. Sometimes you just want a little privacy. At the very least, you don't want to feel like an outsider in your own room.

Whether you're dealing with your roommate's ever present love interest, or his obnoxious friends who "borrow" your stuff, you need to speak up. Roommate issues like this don't go away by ignoring them, so it's best to be upfront and work together to reach an understanding. Here are some tips that will help:

? Keep an open mind. It's possible that your roommate has no idea there's a problem, so don't assume he's trying to annoy you on purpose.

? Pick the right time to talk. Choose a time to speak to your roommate when the two of you can be alone. Explain that you have nothing against the other people involved, but you feel uncomfortable having them around all the time.

? Be assertive. Stand up for your own rights while respecting the rights of your roommate. You can't control who your roommate spends time with or when, but you do have a say when it affects your time in the room.

? Avoid accusations. Starting your sentences with, "you," sounds like an attack and will likely make your roommate defensive, as in: "You are being selfish." Instead, own your message by starting with, "I," as in: "I'm unhappy with this situation."

? Set reasonable expectations. If you leave the room every time your roommate has over a date or friend, he or she will assume nothing is wrong, and the problem will persist. Both sides need to compromise instead of one person making all the changes.

? Make a schedule. Discuss times when both of you need space to study, sleep, or just be alone and agree to make those times off-limits to guests.

If you don't like conflict, you may be tempted to avoid it by gossiping to other friends or complaining to your Resident Assistant without ever talking to your roommate first. Going around the issue will only makes things worse! By approaching your roommate calmly and respectfully, the two of you can work out an agreement that's fair without things getting blown out of proportion.

Susan Fee is a licensed counselor and author of the book, "My Roommate Is Driving Me Crazy! Solve Conflicts, Set Boundaries, and Survive the College Roommate from Hell" (Adams Media). She offers more college survival tips on her site, http://www.myroommateisdrivingmecrazy.com.


MORE RESOURCES:

Free Webinar Dec. 3rd for College/University Administrators Will ...
MarketWatch - Nov 20, 2008
NEEDHAM, Mass., Nov 20, 2008 /PRNewswire via COMTEX/ -- NEEDHAM, Mass., Nov. 20 /PRNewswire/ -- A free webinar, aimed at assisting college and university ...


Man's suicide involves drugs — and a webcam
Seattle Times, United States - 13 hours ago
The Broward College student took a lethal mixture of three drugs Wednesday and then blogged about it while a webcam broadcast his actions, including his ...


College, University Endowments Take Hits
KHBS/KHOG 40/29, AR - Nov 20, 2008
FAYETTEVILLE, Ark. -- Many colleges and universities have a lot riding on the stock market. They rely on interest gained from endowments to fund things such ...


Students protest cancellation of admission in BBA course
Times of India, India - 1 hour ago
PATNA: Protesting against the reported cancellation of admission of as many as 145 candidates against additional sections in BBA course of Patna College, ...


W. Liberty OK’d As University
Wheeling Intelligencer, WV - 16 hours ago
By BETHANY ROMANEK WEST LIBERTY - It began as West Liberty Academy in 1837, and on Friday West Liberty State College officials received word that the ...


Stetson Selects First Female President
Tampa Tribune, FL - 17 hours ago
By LINDSAY PETERSON GULFPORT - Stetson University has picked the first female president in its 125-year history, Wendy Libby, from Stephens College, ...


College, university to receive county cash in 2009
Barrie Advance, Canada - Nov 20, 2008
Simcoe County will support Georgian College and Lakehead University in their quests to expand – but not beyond 2009. In formulating its 2009 operating ...


AU women get first win of season
Aurora Beacon News, IL - 12 hours ago
Kim Voiles had a game-high 22 points, grabbed five rebounds and added four assists and four steals as Aurora University picked up its first win of the year, ...


UA leaders greenlight mergers for small units
Arizona Daily Star, AZ - 16 hours ago
By Aaron Mackey The UA's top two leaders have given their blessing to about a dozen small academic-program mergers designed to make the institution more ...


Bethel College Athletics

Soccer's Season Ends In The NAIA National Championship Opening Round
Bethel College Athletics, IN - 4 minutes ago
The Bethel College men’s soccer team lost its NAIA National Championship Opening Round match to NAIA No. 12 Rio Grande University by the final score of 2—1. ...

College-University - Google News

home | site map
© 2006