Dating Information

Too Ugly? Too Short? Heres How To Turn Your Flaws Into Strengths


If you're worried and upset about your physical flaws, which prevent you from attracting women, then I've got some good news for you.

Not only can you eliminate those flaws, you can turn them into your advantage. I'll explain how by bringing up an example of three guys who were very successful players in their day.

So here's a trivia question for you. What do Steve Tyler of Aerosmith, the late rapper Eazy-E, and Curly from the Three Stooges all have in common?

The answer is they all had voices so high that if they had wanted to, they could have talked to someone on the phone and that person wouldn't have known they were speaking to a man.

It would have been simple for all three men to have hung their heads in shame and turn into beta males who never got laid and never even could get a girl to talk to them.

In fact, I've coached a lot of men who have limiting beliefs when it comes to things like their voice, their looks, their genetics, etc. You name the trait, and there's always somebody who uses that trait as a negative belief, which sabotages their chances at success with women.

However, despite their high voices, Tyler, Eazy-E, and Curly were all masters of a simple technique that turned that big flaw into a big trademark that made them even more attractive to women.

It's a simple technique that I learned when I studied Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), and it will help you as tremendously as it did all three of those men.

In order to develop the confidence of my students, I have them learn and apply this concept. The concept is called reframing.

Here's how reframing works. Basically, you take every negative belief that you have and turn it into a positive, uplifting question. Do it like this:

1. "I feel bad about my voice" becomes "How can I use my unique voice as my own trademark that sets me apart from other guys?" (That's what Tyler, Eazy-E, and Curly all did.)

2. "My face is pockmarked from acne" becomes "How is my face totally awesome? How can my lack of natural good looks actually help me with women?"

3. "I'm too short" becomes "How can I height to my advantage?"

As you ponder your new, reframed questions in your mind, your brain will come up with answers to them.

For example, you might find that it's to your advantage to not be a "pretty boy." Women expect good-looking guys to talk to them, so when you're displaying the confidence to talk with them, their guards will be down.

They won't expect you to try to pick them up. That gives you a window of opportunity to display your confident, alpha male personality.

Being short can allow you to gain rapport much easier with girls than taller guys can. Tall guys have a psychological communication barrier a lot of the time because they're literally speaking to a lot of girls (who tend on average to be shorter than guys) from a different level.

So remember, it's not your flaws that get in your way. It's your limiting beliefs that do.

Your ugly face doesn't get in your way of meeting women. Instead it's your belief about your face, which interferes with your inner sense of confidence. That lack of confidence is toxic, because women pick up on it instantly.

For a woman to be attracted to a guy, his confidence level is one of the most important traits that he can have. You can become comfortable with yourself by turning your flaws from weaknesses into traits that set you apart from the bland, ordinary guys.

So I want you to stop reading after this, get out a pen (or open a blank document in your word processor) and write out your negative beliefs. Then write positive, uplifting questions about how to turn those flaws into good things.

When you become happy and comfortable with all your traits, through the technique of reframing, you'll become unstoppable with your self-confidence. Gain that kind of confidence, and you'll magnetically attract girls to you.

John Alexander is author of "How to Become an Alpha Male," a dating success guide found at http://www.becomingalpha.com


MORE RESOURCES:

CBS News

National Briefing | South South Carolina: Apology for Racist Policies
New York Times, United States - 12 hours ago
By AP Bob Jones University is apologizing for racist policies that included a ban on interracial dating and its unwillingness to admit blacks until 1971. ...
Nation Digest College apologizes for racist past Seattle Times
Bob Jones Univ. apologizes for racist policies The Associated Press
Bob Jones’ president apologizes The State
Chronicle of Higher Education (subscription) - Phoenix New Times
all 265 news articles


New York Daily News

eHarmony Preps Gay Dating Site After Settling Discrimination Suit
Marketing Vox News - Nov 21, 2008
Dating site eHarmony settled a discrimination lawsuit brought by the New Jersey's Division for Civil Rights (DCR), which accused the relationship site of ...
UPDATE 1-Suit forces eHarmony to offer gay dating service Reuters
Christian-Founded Dating Website eHarmony Forced to Cater to ... Lifesite
EHarmony Settles Dispute Over Gay Matches Wall Street Journal
EDGE Boston - PC Magazine
all 298 news articles


Contactmusic.com

Hartnett Dating Miller?
San Francisco Chronicle,  USA - Nov 20, 2008
... Actor Josh Hartnett was reportedly spotted enjoying another intimate evening in London with British star Sienna Miller, fueling rumors they are dating. ...
Sienna Miller Dating Josh Hartnett Even Though He’s Not Married Actress Archives
Sienna Miller and Josh Hartnett Dating? MTV UK
Sienna Miller and Josh Hartnett Dating? Bodog Beat
Hollyscoop - Tango
all 38 news articles


Monsters and Critics.com

Emily Blunt's dating John Krasinski
Monsters and Critics.com - Nov 21, 2008
'The Devil Wears Prada' actress - who split from Canadian singer Michael Buble earlier this year after a three-year relationship - is said to have spent a ...
Emily Blunt and John Krasinski Dating AceShowbiz
Emily Blunt Finds Love After Michael Buble Split Post Chronicle
all 32 news articles


Whitney Casey: Treat dating like a business
Houston Chronicle, United States - 18 hours ago
Dating and relationship-building is exactly like making a sale,” author Jess McCann explains. “There’s strategy to making it work. ...


"Boom": an apocalyptic dating game
Seattle Times, United States - Nov 21, 2008
Played by Gretchen Krich, Barbara can freeze the action, or drum up a mood by bashing away on a timpani, and her role in this apocalyptic dating game is ...


Law center awarded $1 million grant for teen dating violence ...
Oakland Tribune, CA - 5 hours ago
The goal of the four-year initiative, Start Strong: Building Healthy Teen Relationships, is to raise awareness of teen dating violence as a public health ...


Find dating style you won't immediately sabotage
Seattle Post Intelligencer - 22 hours ago
You seem to be completely paralyzed by the prospect of Internet dating -- so I wonder why the idea is even attractive to you. It almost seems as though you ...


Speed dating: Find true love - 7 minutes at a time
Prattville Progress, AL - 17 hours ago
By Alicia Harper Dating an attorney, a golf er, a movie buff, an air man, an auto broker, a couple of divorcees, a couple of restaurant employees and a guy ...


Does a dating service 'stigma' still exist?
Portsmouth Herald News, NH - Nov 21, 2008
By Steve Penner When I first started the dating service LunchDates in 1982, scores of single men and women immediately contacted us and expressed an ...

Dating - Google News

home | site map
© 2008