Dating Information

Meeting Your Online Date in Safety


Here are some common sense safety tips for meeting your online date in person. Your instincts will play a strong role in keeping you safe too, so listen to them and take action if you feel uncomfortable or alarmed at any time. Remember, there's also a good chance that your date is perfectly genuine. Tread a sensible line between optimism and caution and your date will be safe and enjoyable.

Meet when you're ready:

Don't be pressured into meeting your online date. One of the big attractions of online dating is that you can find out the important stuff - be sure there's a real possibility for a relationship - up front, so take your time and make the most of it. Your offline date should confirm and enhance your feelings, not lead to disappointment, or nasty surprises!

Meet in a public place:

Hopefully most of you are yawning at this. However, when you've built up some trust online, and happen to share an interest in lonely country walks, say, a lonely country walk might seem like a great idea for a first date. Give yourself a severe reality check when arranging a first date. First dates should always be in well-populated, public places.

Meet in a familiar or well-known area:

You need to be able to find your way home, or back to your hotel room, quickly and easily. Don't travel into unfamiliar neighborhoods and if you've traveled to an unfamiliar city to meet your date, choose a hotel in a central area that's well known to taxi drivers and locals.

Meet in a place where you're not well known:

For first dates, avoid favorite hangouts where everyone knows you and your business. Your date can return to pry information out of your favorite bartender or friends, or turn up uninvited - bad news if you decide not to pursue the relationship.

Travel independently:

Revealing where you live, where you're staying or getting into a strange vehicle puts you at risk. Be sure to make your own way to and from your date, and don't be persuaded otherwise. If you make your travel arrangements ahead of time, you'll have a good excuse for refusing any offers to pick you up or drop you home, and if your date's half the person you think they are, they'll respect your independence and caution.

Make your own arrangements:

Don't let your date take over and make all the decisions about where you go, what you do, and, if you're traveling from another city, where you stay. Make your own travel arrangements (I've said this already, but it's important), book your own hotel, and make sure you and your common sense get to play a big role in deciding when and where your date takes place.

Tell a friend or relative about your date:

Make sure someone knows who you're meeting (their full name and phone number), when, where and at what time you expect to be back.

Take your cell phone:

If you don't have a cell phone, borrow one. Arrange for someone to call you at a certain time to check up on how your date is going, and how you're feeling about it. Agree beforehand on some phrases that will let them know, without giving the game away to your date, whether it's going well or whether you need to put a pre-arranged escape plan into action.

Don't drink too much:

Sure, a drink can calm your nerves but be careful not to overdo it and lose your ability to make safe and sensible decisions.

Leave if you feel uncomfortable:

You're excited about your date, you want it to go well, to give it every chance of success but (and it's a big but) don't let this tempt you into ignoring or excusing the fact that something doesn't feel right. If it doesn't feel right it probably isn't. Trust your instincts, admit it and get out of there. If necessary, enlist the help of a waiter or manager or some other person that can help you make a get away, perhaps feigning a call from home or showing you an alternative way out of the building. Remember though, it's not necessary to explain yourself to your date. Simply leave.

Watch for strange behavior:

When you meet offline, dating should fall into a natural, comfortable pattern. Stop dating if it doesn't. For instance, if your date always wants to meet some distance from where they live or work, is reluctant to introduce you to friends or family, or has strange rules about how and when you call each other, something's very wrong.

Copyright 2004 Caroline Mackenzie

Caroline Mackenzie is Co-Owner/Webmaster of The Dating Muse, a guide to online dating services and personals featuring reviews of the top online dating sites plus tips and ideas for finding friends, dates, soulmates and sexual adventure online. You can visit her site at http://DatingMuse.com and subscribe to her newsletter at http://datingmuse.com/subscribe.htm


MORE RESOURCES:

CBS News

National Briefing | South South Carolina: Apology for Racist Policies
New York Times, United States - 14 hours ago
By AP Bob Jones University is apologizing for racist policies that included a ban on interracial dating and its unwillingness to admit blacks until 1971. ...
Nation Digest College apologizes for racist past Seattle Times
Bob Jones Univ. apologizes for racist policies The Associated Press
Bob Jones’ president apologizes The State
Chronicle of Higher Education (subscription) - Phoenix New Times
all 267 news articles


New York Daily News

eHarmony Preps Gay Dating Site After Settling Discrimination Suit
Marketing Vox News - Nov 21, 2008
Dating site eHarmony settled a discrimination lawsuit brought by the New Jersey's Division for Civil Rights (DCR), which accused the relationship site of ...
UPDATE 1-Suit forces eHarmony to offer gay dating service Reuters
EHarmony Settles Dispute Over Gay Matches Wall Street Journal
Christian-Founded Dating Website eHarmony Forced to Cater to ... Lifesite
EDGE Boston - PC Magazine
all 299 news articles


San Francisco Chronicle

Hartnett Dating Miller?
San Francisco Chronicle,  USA - Nov 20, 2008
... Actor Josh Hartnett was reportedly spotted enjoying another intimate evening in London with British star Sienna Miller, fueling rumors they are dating. ...
Sienna Miller Dating Josh Hartnett Even Though He’s Not Married Actress Archives
Sienna Miller and Josh Hartnett Dating? MTV UK
Sienna Miller and Josh Hartnett Dating? Bodog Beat
Hollyscoop - Tango
all 38 news articles


Monsters and Critics.com

Emily Blunt's dating John Krasinski
Monsters and Critics.com - Nov 21, 2008
'The Devil Wears Prada' actress - who split from Canadian singer Michael Buble earlier this year after a three-year relationship - is said to have spent a ...
Emily Blunt and John Krasinski Dating AceShowbiz
Emily Blunt Finds Love After Michael Buble Split Post Chronicle
all 32 news articles


Whitney Casey: Treat dating like a business
Houston Chronicle, United States - 20 hours ago
Dating and relationship-building is exactly like making a sale,” author Jess McCann explains. “There’s strategy to making it work. ...


"Boom": an apocalyptic dating game
Seattle Times, United States - Nov 21, 2008
Played by Gretchen Krich, Barbara can freeze the action, or drum up a mood by bashing away on a timpani, and her role in this apocalyptic dating game is ...


Law center awarded $1 million grant for teen dating violence ...
Oakland Tribune, CA - 7 hours ago
The goal of the four-year initiative, Start Strong: Building Healthy Teen Relationships, is to raise awareness of teen dating violence as a public health ...


Find dating style you won't immediately sabotage
Seattle Post Intelligencer - Nov 21, 2008
You seem to be completely paralyzed by the prospect of Internet dating -- so I wonder why the idea is even attractive to you. It almost seems as though you ...


Speed dating: Find true love - 7 minutes at a time
Prattville Progress, AL - 19 hours ago
By Alicia Harper Dating an attorney, a golf er, a movie buff, an air man, an auto broker, a couple of divorcees, a couple of restaurant employees and a guy ...


Does a dating service 'stigma' still exist?
Portsmouth Herald News, NH - Nov 21, 2008
By Steve Penner When I first started the dating service LunchDates in 1982, scores of single men and women immediately contacted us and expressed an ...

Dating - Google News

home | site map
© 2008